A dramatic, exaggerated caricature of a person with a shocked, indignant expression, pointing an accusing finger at the viewer, against a stark, simple background.
A dramatic, exaggerated caricature of a person with a shocked, indignant expression, pointing an accusing finger at the viewer, against a stark, simple background.

"You're supposed to be bigots toward everyone else, not me!"

The Paradox of Selective Tolerance

In today's increasingly polarized social landscape, a curious phenomenon has emerged: the expectation that prejudice should be selective rather than absent. The statement "You're supposed to be bigots toward everyone else, not me!" captures this modern hypocrisy perfectly, revealing a troubling trend where individuals demand exemption from the very intolerance they're willing to accept or even promote against others.

The Psychology of Exclusionary Inclusion

This mindset represents what psychologists call "in-group/out-group" bias taken to its logical extreme. People naturally form tribal affiliations, but the modern twist is the expectation that one's own group should be immune from the consequences of tribalism while still benefiting from its advantages. It's the social equivalent of wanting to play both offense and defense simultaneously.

The individual expressing this sentiment essentially says: "I support your right to dislike others, but I demand special status that protects me from your prejudices." This creates an impossible social contract where intolerance is simultaneously endorsed and rejected, depending on who's on the receiving end.

The Social Contract Breakdown

This attitude represents a fundamental breakdown in the social contract that underpins civil society. Traditional social contracts operate on principles of reciprocity - we agree to treat others with basic respect because we expect the same treatment in return. The "bigots toward everyone else" mentality shatters this reciprocity, creating a hierarchy of who deserves dignity and who doesn't.

The person making this demand essentially wants to be the exception to every rule, enjoying the protections of tolerance while refusing to extend those same protections universally. It's a position of moral convenience rather than moral consistency.

The Rise of Identity Politics

This phenomenon has been amplified by identity politics, where various groups compete for victim status or moral high ground. In this competitive landscape, some individuals and groups have begun treating prejudice as a zero-sum game: if someone else is experiencing discrimination, it somehow diminishes their own struggles, or worse, they feel entitled to direct that discrimination toward others while demanding immunity for themselves.

The result is a bizarre marketplace of grievances where everyone wants to be the exception rather than working toward a society where exceptions aren't necessary because basic human dignity is universally applied.

The Hypocrisy of Conditional Morality

At its core, this attitude reveals a deeply conditional approach to morality. The individual isn't actually opposed to bigotry as a concept - they're only opposed to bigotry when it's directed at them. This creates what philosophers might call "moral arbitrage" - trying to benefit from moral principles while avoiding their costs.

The person who says "be bigots toward everyone else, but not me" is essentially trying to have their cake and eat it too. They want the emotional satisfaction of belonging to a group that stands against something, while also wanting the practical benefits of being excluded from that group's targets.

The Consequences for Civil Discourse

This mindset has devastating consequences for public discourse and social cohesion. When everyone expects to be the exception to the rules of civil engagement, we end up with no rules at all. Conversations become minefields where participants are constantly negotiating who gets to be offended and who has to absorb offense.

The very concept of universal human dignity becomes negotiable, subject to constantly shifting power dynamics and identity calculations. This makes genuine dialogue nearly impossible, as every interaction becomes a negotiation about who deserves basic respect in that particular moment.

The Path Forward

Addressing this mentality requires a return to first principles about human dignity and moral consistency. The solution isn't to create more exceptions or refine the hierarchy of who deserves respect - it's to recognize that respect either applies to everyone or it applies to no one.

True progress comes from recognizing that the fight against prejudice isn't about securing special protections for one's own group while tolerating discrimination against others. It's about building a society where the very idea of directing prejudice at anyone becomes unthinkable.

The person who says "be bigots toward everyone else, but not me" has fundamentally misunderstood the nature of tolerance. Tolerance isn't a limited resource to be hoarded or strategically deployed - it's a principle that either encompasses humanity or fails entirely.


The prompt for this was: "You're supposed to be bigots toward everyone else, not me!"

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